Blog #3: The Poetry Benchmark Essay

Draft 1

Mary Oliver's "Black Walnut Tree" illustrates the strength of our ties to our heritage. Here, the ancestors of the two women are represented by the titular black walnut tree. Oliver uses dialogue, similes, metaphors and symbolism to show that the tree is closely allied with their family, and this is not something they can bring themselves to get rid of.

Oliver begins with a debate, a rhythmic back-and-forth between two women (possibly Oliver and her mother), where both sides offer their opinions about the tree. Both give valid reasons for the tree to be sold: "Roots in the cellar drains", and the fact that the tree could collapse and smash the house at any moment (l.11). However, even this early in the poem, it's easy to see that the family probably won't given the tree up—the tone of the dialogue is reluctant, and the dialogue skirts the topic. While both point out flaws of the tree, neither is able to conclude that the tree should be removed. This despite the fact that the women are going through "a difficult time", with a mortgage that needs to be paid off (l.10).

The women aren't willing to give up the tree due to "something that moves through their blood", and is brighter than money" (l.16). Oliver never names this "something" outright, but indicates that it's an emotion akin to love or loyalty, because it "moves in their blood", something both mother and daughter share. This metaphor also hints at the black walnut's relation to ancestry-the blood of the two women ties them to their ancestors.

So, too, does the walnut tree. The narrator's "fathers", or ancestors, "fill[ed] the blue fields/of fresh and generous Ohio with leaves and vines and orchards." (ll.23-24). They're planters, and the two women feel this instinct too—their loyalty wants them to "dig and sow" (ll.18).

The narrator and her mother clearly still feel very connected to their ancestors—they refer to their backyard as "our own and our fathers" (l.29). Removing the black walnut tree would feel like a violation of that relationship. The tree acts as the central symbol, the reminder to the two women of where they came from, a reminder of their heritage, and thus they can't bring themselves to sell it. It's a decision of the heart, not the mind. We're left with the image of the black walnut tree swinging in the backyard, through "another year of sun and leaping winds." The "another" implies that the family will return to the debate next year, but given the tree's significant to the family, we know that they will never get rid of it, no matter how tough things get.

Score: 5

Revision

In “The Black Walnut Tree” by Mary Oliver, a daughter and her mother struggle to balance pragmatism and heritage. While it is clear that the family has much to gain from the removal of the tree, like money to “pay off the mortgage” (l. 5), they remain adamant in keeping it for a reason that transcends logic. Oliver is able to reveal a long-lasting and emotional connection between the family and the tree through powerful shifts from contemplative to sentimental tones as well as the juxtaposition of light and dark imagery.

Through the first fifteen lines of the poem, it is clear that the narrator is considering-or contemplating-all that the family stands to gain from selling their black walnut tree. In addition to noting the financial benefits of such an action (l. 5) there seems to be a tone of acceptance of the tree’s fate. Oliver writes, “Likely some storm anyway will churn down its dark boughs.” (ll. 6-7), clearly showing that the narrator is thinking ahead to the future and making the foresighted decision to sell the tree rather than watch it die.

In addition, the repetition of dark imagery—”black walnut tree”, “dark boughs, and “storm”—illustrates that their attempts to be practical darkens their mood and depresses them.(ll. 3-7). The very notion of selling the tree needs to be carefully assessed, and considering how “slowly” (l. 9) the mother and daughter converse about the possibility, it is clear they are reluctant to take any decisive action just yet.

This same contemplative tone is found even with the narrator’s mother, who comments that the “leaves are getting heavier every year, and the fruit harder to gather away” (ll. 13-15). In other words, this family accepts that there is little to nothing to gain in keeping the tree—it requires too much maintenance and seems to already be on its way to death.

Yet, we see a drastic shift in how the narrator addresses the tree in line 16. Oliver writes of how something “brighter than money” moves in the family’s blood (ll. 16-17) and supplements that with ”an edge sharp and quick as a trowel that wants us to dig and sow.” (ll. 17-19) that only strengthens the newly established tone of resolve with its connotations of newfound clarity. Indeed, Oliver is able to immediately “reset” the family’s feelings with the immediate shift in tone, noting how the family talks, but does not do anything because of what the tree means to them. (ll. 20-21)

Oliver employs yet another tone shift towards the latter half of the essay, this time from one of resolve—where the family realize they simply cannot give up the tree—to one of sentiment. The narrator admits that giving up the tree would result in an emptiness that would make her and her mother “crawl with shame” (l. 27), hinting that the tree has a significant and emotional attachment to their life. The emptiness that is discussed is physical and spiritual, as the narrator notes that it would be made “in our own and our fathers’ backyard” (l. 29). The emptiness is a blow akin to losing a loved one.

Considering the narrator’s sentiment, and the nature of the family’s relationship, towards the tree, it only makes sense that the black walnut tree remains. Oliver specifics what the tree goes through, whether it is intense winds or sun, and finishes with a metaphor that reinforces the feelings the family had to begin the poem: “...the whipcrack of the mortgage.” (l.35). While the tree is certainly loved by the family, it serves as a constant reminder of mixed opportunity and lost wealth. That is always in the back of the family’s minds, making them constantly question the decision to keep the tree—”another year” suggests that the debate will be renewed (l.31).

However, the narrator’s turn to lighter imagery (the tree lives through another year of “sun and leaping winds/of leaves the bounding fruit,”, something “brighter than money” moves in the narrator’s blood) demonstrates that valuing heritage over practicality lifts their spirits and assures the family that they have made the right decision (ll. 32-33, l.16).

Score: 21/25




Reflection

In the group effort, we once again used Nihar's essay as a base, but we revised it heavily: we focused on tone and the light and dark imagery. We added paragraphs analyzing the light and dark imagery, clarified the three sentence thesis, and added analysis of the word "slowly", which we saw in the AP benchmark essay scored a 9. We also got rid of contractions and removed the final concluding paragraph because it wasn't necessary.


Essentially, I did a much better job of reading the prompt for this essay, but I still need to bring my analysis to another level by connecting my literary devices more closely to the meaning, and of noticing small details like light and dark imagery and words like "slowly". I recognized the effect of these choices in my essay, but I couldn't explain how that effect was created.


While my first essay recognized the importance of heritage in the essay, it failed to analyze the contrast between heritage and practicality, save for one line ("It's a decision of the heart, not the mind. "). In addition, while I analyzed the entire poem, I failed to really explain how the literary devices I selected created meaning or demonstrated the relationship between the tree and family. Thus, my essay failed to be complex or create a persuasive analysis.